Delusional or Paranoid?

I Wish you were proud of me.

Am I reading the signs wrong?

Am I hearing the words wrong?

You wanted me to be yours.

I didn’t want to belong to anyone!

I just wanted to be alone,

Didn’t care much for companionship.

Ah! Cupid you dirty miscreant!

Shot me right through my left shoulder,

Through my heart.

His arrowhead sticks out through my ribs.

I’m love struck!

You say you feel a higher degree for me,

I don’t even see how that can be. :s

Yet it’s difficult for you to tell the world about us.

You want,

I give.

 A mistake I make. Not once,

Not twice,

Not thrice,

Not four times (what’s the correct word?)

Yet I believe love can do me well.

I believe Cupid got his target right.

You are not my mistake.

I’m proud of you; I want to show you off!

But you are not proud of me,

And it hurts.

It stings because I don’t know how to tell you.

Bites because I can’t imagine why you’re acting shady.

Burns because you speak such beautiful words,

You make me feel I am the only one you see,

The only one you know.

Well, am i?

The only one I mean. Or am I just delusional?

I do not want to be alone,

I want to be with you.

Do I draw on my face of indifference?

And risk actually becoming indifferent… eventually?

Is this it?

 Is this what you want?

Am I your mistake?

To say I am pained is an understatement.

It hurts to my very marrow.

Joke!

A Joke has turned my upward turned lip-edges downward.

A sense of humor which is appreciated is a rare thing.

If you tell a joke, and it turns a smile into a frown,

are you qualified as a clown?

I wanted to be your up,

your high,

your good,

your best,

your thought,

your warmth,

your good luck.

A bad clown with its bad omen

I've become your down,

your low,

your bad, 

your worst, 

your fear, 

your cold...

Your bad luck.

Regrets begin to set in...

and i only want to go back.

I only want to take it all back,

for we would've been better off without this joke.

and we would still be us.

Our yay would remain yay, and our nay, far away.

I'm  needy,

I'm human,

I'm not a creature with a painted face and a red shiny nose.

I'm not a clown.

When i take the place of your jester, some jokes become too cheap,

They draw blank, grim expressions and grunts from those who listen,

Some jokes become too expensive,

They draw down turned lip-edges.

Help we with this choice.

Shall i be your jester?

your high,

Your up,

Your warmth,

Your thought,

Your Good luck,

Your Best?

Shall i be none to you?

Shall i be all to you?