Delusional or Paranoid?

I Wish you were proud of me.

Am I reading the signs wrong?

Am I hearing the words wrong?

You wanted me to be yours.

I didn’t want to belong to anyone!

I just wanted to be alone,

Didn’t care much for companionship.

Ah! Cupid you dirty miscreant!

Shot me right through my left shoulder,

Through my heart.

His arrowhead sticks out through my ribs.

I’m love struck!

You say you feel a higher degree for me,

I don’t even see how that can be. :s

Yet it’s difficult for you to tell the world about us.

You want,

I give.

 A mistake I make. Not once,

Not twice,

Not thrice,

Not four times (what’s the correct word?)

Yet I believe love can do me well.

I believe Cupid got his target right.

You are not my mistake.

I’m proud of you; I want to show you off!

But you are not proud of me,

And it hurts.

It stings because I don’t know how to tell you.

Bites because I can’t imagine why you’re acting shady.

Burns because you speak such beautiful words,

You make me feel I am the only one you see,

The only one you know.

Well, am i?

The only one I mean. Or am I just delusional?

I do not want to be alone,

I want to be with you.

Do I draw on my face of indifference?

And risk actually becoming indifferent… eventually?

Is this it?

 Is this what you want?

Am I your mistake?

To say I am pained is an understatement.

It hurts to my very marrow.

Joke!

A Joke has turned my upward turned lip-edges downward.

A sense of humor which is appreciated is a rare thing.

If you tell a joke, and it turns a smile into a frown,

are you qualified as a clown?

I wanted to be your up,

your high,

your good,

your best,

your thought,

your warmth,

your good luck.

A bad clown with its bad omen

I've become your down,

your low,

your bad, 

your worst, 

your fear, 

your cold...

Your bad luck.

Regrets begin to set in...

and i only want to go back.

I only want to take it all back,

for we would've been better off without this joke.

and we would still be us.

Our yay would remain yay, and our nay, far away.

I'm  needy,

I'm human,

I'm not a creature with a painted face and a red shiny nose.

I'm not a clown.

When i take the place of your jester, some jokes become too cheap,

They draw blank, grim expressions and grunts from those who listen,

Some jokes become too expensive,

They draw down turned lip-edges.

Help we with this choice.

Shall i be your jester?

your high,

Your up,

Your warmth,

Your thought,

Your Good luck,

Your Best?

Shall i be none to you?

Shall i be all to you?

I cheat, you cheat. No?

Where does it begin? Cheating i mean.
I've been told that it starts from flirting.

I have also been told that the thought alone marks the beginning.
If this is so, is it possible that anyone has never cheated?
Is this to say that once you think it, you might as well finish it?

Or do we go with those who say that cheating begins the moment physical relations begin?
Or those who say that speaking to another person outside your relationship about
sex with someone other than your partner is cheating?

How about honesty?
"I have had my man for 3 years and i went out,
played a game of truth or dare,
kissed 3 different guys and then told my man.
He broke up with me."
Did honesty pay off here?

"My boyfriend and i were having problems.
So i flirted with this totally gorgeous guy at the office party,
only to find out that my boyfriend knew him quite well.
We met again at an event where i am with my man and he acts like we've never met, so i play along.
Later on, jokingly, i told my man that I had met his friend before and dont know why he acted the way he did.
My man went on to do some 'research' at my back and confronts me about it.
He says i had a one night stand with this dude."
Did half honesty pay off here?

" I haven't seen my boo in a while.
We've been arguing a lot lately.
Then i finally open up to him while we're trying to patch things up,
that i had thought of cheating on him that day.
He said "a thought is all it really takes" and never spoke to me again"
Did absolute honesty pay off here?

What if in all those instances,
I actually went all the way?
What would you say? would it change the course of things?
Would things remain the same?
Is honesty really worth it?

A Walk to remember?

*Splat!* The raindrops went on the umbrella above me.
The plan was to go and buy the gold shoes...
But the amount of things i encountered on my way were...
interesting, interesting enough to re-tell.

My first time wearing white jeans made me realize just how much we put our darker colored jeans through.(random)

I saw people huddled under the carport covers for he car hire company i was passing by.
all trying to keep dry.
Keeping warm however, was out of it.

Moving forward, I noticed a young man stopping -or should i say trying to stop- every vehicle that passed.
The reason? A ride!
But i still dont understand why a mamber of the male species would be looking for a free ride!
Four cars had passed him without stopping.
It was until i was directly behind him before one stopped.
"Where are you going?" was all i heard as i walked out of hearing distance of the 'hiker' and the driver.

Further on, there was a speed bump.
This sexy tinted Black range rover stopped beside me.
The window on my side rolled down...
And Behold!
a fifty-something year old -still good looking mind you-
sporting a white traditional outfit asked "Hello, Where are you going?"
I pointed in the direction from which he had just come and said "Thank you" because it was not far!

Two seconds after i passed by him, i said to myself "That could have been my next big fish!"
Upon deeper reflection, am i ready to display goods which are not really for sale?
Why advertise whats not in stock?

Waiting

Have you ever waited for a Phone call?

Hoping that someone you gave your number to would call?

Hoping that that business deal clicks?

Hoping the driver calls you to let you know he’s around?

Or simply wanting your phone to ring because its been a while since it rang?

Or even waiting for your loved one to call you to tell you you’re loved?

Tell you that the fight is over?

Tell you (s)he’s completely through with that other person?

Hoping the doctor calls to tell you that person is okay..?

That you're okay?

Have you?

I have.

What’s the immediate reaction when you discover the phone is ringing?

What’s your reaction when caller id tells you its not what you’ve been waiting for?

Disappointment... is that it?

Everyone handles disappointment differently,

How do you handle it?

And when the call comes through?

You’ve used up the enthusiasm on the wrong caller,

In an attempt to sound not-so-anxious.

When that phone call eventually comes through,

You sound all wrong, depending on how that last call went.

Then you wish that you weren’t so eager to hear from that person.